Mix Description, Continued:

14-15) Ah, novelty songs. On the one hand, they can lighten up a mix, add an element of fun. And, who knows, a gimmicky song that you're certain will age poorly may end up being one of those guilty pleasures that you never tire of. (I'll admit that I still enjoy Chumbawamba's "Tubthumping" and Len's "Steal My Sunshine"; is that so very wrong?) But even the ones that seem like they'd be a hoot when you're getting ready to burn the mix -- hey, wouldn't it be fun to hear Steve Martin's "King Tut"? -- could have you tossing the disc into the trash when sobriety sets in.

16) Finally, it's possible to muck up a mix by making the wrong choice from a perfectly respectable artist. Every band that's been around for awhile is gonna jump the shark sooner or later. Why pick the most aurally offensive song in the artist's back catalog? Unless, of course, you're making a mix that's all about compiling the very worst songs from otherwise really great bands. Hey, wait, good idea... I think I'll work on that one next.

Last, but not least, the most horrible aspect of a really bad mix? It doesn't exist. I never burned it. I don't even own most of these songs. Maybe it's just me, but isn't it annoying when someone posts a mix that they didn't really make? Maybe a supposed mix with 47 songs that couldn't possibly fit onto a single cdr, or a mix of 8 songs with a comment "here's something I might get around to finishing some day"? Anyone can come up with a list of songs. But this isn't Art Of The List. Make the mix. Stand by it.

[As for the cover art... I figured it was appropriate to use what I consider to be the worst album cover ever -- Emerson Lake & Palmer's Love Beach. Yum!]

Hahaha! Oh you have brightened up my morning with this atrocity. And yes the inclusion of We Built This City is unforgivable and all those guilty should be hunted down and made listen to it on a loop for a week, rather akin to making an errant child smoker smoke a whole pack to drive the point across, brutal but ultimately effective. My own sure tell tale sign of a bad mix is when the person calls it something like 'These Songs F**king Rock' and proceeds to put in their comments 'Kick ass' or some equally profound platitude. Oh and then normally kick off their own feedback with 'I love it' and promptly issue themselves with 5 stars. God bless 'em we would miss them if they went.

#We Built this citeee... we built this city on rock an' roll#...

How about a trade Marc?

WOW, trade? Immensely entertaining friday morning browsing this. I laughed aloud on many occasions, not least the link to Kura's best of 2004 (sorry K). Take 5 stars for a truly grotesque mix.

. . . . bear beat me to it . . .

hmm... you know, as much as i feel like i'd loathe any further contribution to this, i still feel the need to raise my zen-like finger and say that to be truly the worst mix ever, the category needs to be "Alternating DJ" (i don't believe i've seen a true Alternating DJ mix since i've joined this site; i propose "Theme" as the new default category, since you can't really go wrong with that one).that said, i don't think it's quite fair for a self-professed Parashuramic rock snob to be taking on someone who appears to be 14 years old or thereabouts. i for one am just glad that the Platonic idea of the Art of the Mix still seems to be shining through in her list of mixes! (when i was 14 i know i wasn't even paying attention to, say, who the artist of a song is....)(tangent: i also, it's true, never understood the whole Linkin Park backlash as it is -- and even though i don't exactly i love how their paramount mood combines with Jay-Z's, the sheer fact that they did what they did with their songs makes me hit my head and think, *how come no one's ever done this before??* unless, you know, you count Fripp/Belew in '80s King Crimson -- another case where mathematical pattern-fitting trumps paramount mood-fitting.)in conclusion, i remember when i was putting together my all-time-favorite songs mix (which i posted here much later as "Wonder, Could You Ever Know Me?") and recognized that if i wasn't limiting myself to one song per artist, i would have to put in 6 or 7 Bob Dylan songs out of 16... blessed are the ones who persevere through ridicule.

Awesome. Just what I need to read when I come back from an exam. Though I admit that I have a soft spot in my heart for 'We Built This City' and 'How Bizzare' (and it's strange to think I was only 9 or 10 when that came out).

Marc, to continue with the truly bad mixes, you need to post an individual reply to each comment, thus doubling your comment count. And dreadful as ELP is, I think downloaded teen porn makes for a better cover (esp if the mix title is something like "Hot Summer Dance Mix").

#3 (if I missed another, sorry) is by Frank Zappa & the Mothers... If you need the album, let me know... And where oh where are the Carpenters? 'Course taste is in the mouth of the belolder and I can't stand U2 when Bono and the boys get preachy, but that's just me...

Hand on heart, which of us can honestly say we haven't committed at least one of the abve sins? I know I can't!

******Well, now that I have nearly recovered from the infamous Laughing So Hard I Passed Coffee AND Mug Through The Nose...Hopefully, if I click on the links provided above, I won't too many of my own mixes, but even so...I have to admit that from the time I first came here, right up to this moment, I have only had one "flamer" (are they still called that?) get on my case about one of my mixes, and I deleted the mix, and the individual has yet to post a mix (!) so this is one of the best sites going, imho. We all seem to "get it" >different strokes for different folks< is the byline of AOTM.

That ELP album is their best! Well, maybe it's their best chest hair shot... This is too funny. Not sure, but I might find Rick Dees to be the best track here.... Hear that Rolling Stones?!?

There's actually a worse Stardhip track .... "Skateboard" ... "In the middle of the desert, I'd build a pool for you...." or some such drivel.

This is brilliant

MEDIUM RARE WITH MUSTARD TASTES NICE!!!!!

Worst. Mix. Ever. Hilarious commentary & these are great cautionary guidelines. Thanks for giving me some much needed levity this morning at work!

This made my morning.
However, this is the worst album cover ever. http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B0000004V4/ref=ase_cenedellacom-20/002-1355190-4349613?s=music&v=glance&n=5174&tagActionCode=cenedellacom-20

Cruel yet fair. Vicious yet reasonable. Shameful secrets: I used to dance to Crazy Horses when I had the necessary hair to be able to do so in the correct fashion. I like the OMC song. I have been known to play Starship in the cause of "entertainment". I can't go on. I feel so exposed. It's as though you "found all my letters and read them all out loud..." I bow to the master of accompanying notage.

Freakin hilarious...from my standpoint, all I want to see from a mix is: effort.

Biggest AoTM turn-off: People who suck the joy out the comments page. You know who you are...elitest pontificators (usually calling out what they view as music snobbery). Those who defend individuality by stereotyping others.

And, to those individuals, I say: I get it. You're the smartest, ever. I accept the fact that is your role, and your role alone, to be confrontational, smug and devoid of a sense of humor.

Now, move along.

Perfectly executed. (And there are those who should be.)

I'm with Nomates and abangaku inasmuch as you were "Cruel yet fair. Vicious yet reasonable." As well as (almost) zen-like in the approach. Pop Kulcher is now, and always has been, one of the best Rock Snob's Rock Snob. A man of good taste who doesn't lord his pomposity over we more pedestrian types. (Unlike other.) Pop Kulcher is callous with humor, some have no humor and no apparent people skills whatsoever.While we are all guilty of some of the crimes elucidated this rather effectively points out the guideposts to mixes where you shake your head and mumble "sheesh. What are you, xx-years old..? That's no excuse." Like Mixxer's monumental mix noted in the comments this, too, should be placed in an Exhibit alongside it as landmarks to be read by all. I applaud.

What's wrong with "Fool To Cry"?

HYSTERICAL!
MoTW!!! for best comedy.
Thanks PK, I needed that.

Outstanding! There's a little of the 'Rock Snob' sitting on most of our shoulders but when it comes down to it I find age tempers my opinion or is it that I'm just too lethargic to get rankled or opinionated? Right now my 4 year old daughter is waltzing around the house listening to 'Disney Princesses,' is there any hope for me cos I find I'm quite enjoying the sound experience! Mind you I draw the line at boy bands!!!

what they all said, great fun

This is hilarious and very, very accurate.

Great idea, great fun, and in some cases, a reminder of some errors I made when I first arrived on these fair shores :) A big amen to your last comment - I have to have a concrete copy of the mix, burned, done and dusted before it goes anywhere near AotM. Also, I agree with Chris in that it's always really nice to see a lot of effort going into a mix. Good on you for doing this!

I disagree with your last point -- mixes that don't really exist can be an absolute hoot to make! I must check out Attila asap.

Very funny. Excellent "list"!

Sorry to be disagreeable, but with the right friends and the right refreshments I could imagine having a blast listening to this mix. Why, just last week my friend and I made up a fun little dance routine to Cheeseburger in Paradise. I kid you not. I've also recently discovered the joys of the 45 minute live jam, and I believe it can add interest to an otherwise boring mix of 3 minute songs. And I love Steve Perry's voice. It's truly one of a kind, and if you've played the Journey video game as much as I have you can't help but love the band too. And I wouldn't be surprised if someday I find a reason to like Limp Biscuit too. There's a time and a place for everything under the sun, the only exceptions being Tom Waits and Peter Gabriel.

thanks for making my day.
i especially liked "scuse me while i kiss this guy". hahaha.

The problem with musical badness is that it eventually gets so bad that it becomes musical goodness. Thus, the compiler of a bad mix must strike an intricate balance between boring mediocrity and hip dreck. This is a good job. I would have preferred boobs in the cover art. And more mockery. Cameron Franklin, come home!

This mix needs more tracks by Limp Bizkit.

This is classic Marc. One of the worst mixes ever posted on this site, but I'll still give it 5 stars based on your thoughful and amusing comments (I was ten minutes late to work this morning, thanks to this mix). Of course a real abysmal mixer would have posted it here six times in a row , and spelled Zeppelin without the second "e." Great picks from the Kinks and the Cure, and I honestly enjoy that Osmonds song.

I thought this mix was great fun when I saw it this morning. Coming back to it tonight I can see that it really has become a classic. Nice job.

This mix needs more hits by OMC. Oh yeah, they didn't have any others.

LOL, an award-worthy deconstruction of AOTM cliches and stereotypes. Except how fucking dare you attack "Disco Duck". In a perfect world, I would put that on every one of my mixes, even the sad pretentious ones.

36 comments! make that 37 now. Is this a record? And if so, is it available as an mp3?

Thanks for the feedback, folks. (Almost makes it worth having stayed up `til midnight Thursday night and sleepwalking through the office on Friday.)
Of course, as Jenergy observed below, it wouldn't be a truly horrid mix unless I made sure to respond to every comment posted. Or at least a lot of `em.

Barrydali: Damn, can't believe I forgot about the guy who posted all those mixes and then left himself congratulatory comments. He rocked!

Bear: Sorry, can't trade for this mix. If too many copies circulate, its black market value will decrease.

Abangaku: I have to admit, it took me awhile to figure out why there were so many "Alternating DJ" mixes. Then I forgot to select the genre one time and, voila, I had posted an "Alternating DJ" mix. Made me feel kinda schizophrenic. Also, you made me feel bad about making fun of 14-year-old kids who are trying their best to post entertaining mixes. If you saw the mixes I made when I was 14, you would have ridiculed me big time. Then again, if you had, maybe I would have figured out to make marginally less ridiculous ones. Or I could have been scarred for life and never enjoyed music again. Damn, sure hope I'm not inflicting the latter on anyone, or I'm going to have a hard time falling asleep tonight. Better open another Smirnoff's Ice.

Jenergy: Yep, need to get my own comments in here. And, yes, I was mighty tempted to use some softcore porn as my cover art, but I've already used the "gee, honey, I'm just surfing for cover art images" excuse with my wife already.

Sean: Yes, the ELP chest hair is something to behold, but let's not overlook the, er, "packages," either.

Musicgnome: Alas, I have to confess that there have been one or two occasions where I got so taken aback by a mix that I posted a self-righteous comment that I immediately wished I could take it back. My apologies to anyone here if I did that to you. (Unless you included Starship on your mix. Then you had it coming.)

jtmehrin: "Fool To Cry." Sorry, but I've always considered it to be the Worst. Stones. Song. Ever. At least until everything after Some Girls, but that goes without saying.

French: Regarding children's music - I have to confess a soft spot for the Wiggles. If only because, after a couple years of Barney, the Wiggles were a welcome relief. But the day my kids got past children's music was a wonderful time, even if it means I'm listening to an awful lot of Eminem and Green Day.

Stippen: Alas, Billy Joel's Attila album is long out of print. (The copy I own is a cassette called California Flash that I picked up at a gas station for $1.50, seriously. To his credit, Joel actually included one of the tracks on his recent box set retrospective, so I've gotta respect him for that (having acknowledging himself that it's pretty terrible).

Orchid: And the best part of crappy music is that one man's guilty pleasure is another's. well, crappy music. I can't see ever enjoying Steve Perry, even in the darkest recesses of my heart. But I would never lump Peter Gabriel into that camp. But that's me.

Ion: Good catch. Can't believe I forgot to post this three times. or, even better, posted a 2-song version, then a 6-song version, and then the complete version. Because it's important that everyone on the AOTM site share the joy of the work in progress.

A smack down to end all smack downs. But really Marc, you could've made the point just as well without including...excuse me...without including the S...uhm, sorry...the Starsh...song.........I gotta go...

But don't you see, can you not acknowledge their achievement. I mean San Francisco would not exist were it not for them. For Eric's sake they built the place using only rock and roll. That had to be tricky. They probably struggled a bit to fit it all in. The Bay Area owes them a huge debt. And another thing, Modern English were known as the Colchester Cure, so it's an easy mistake. Must I defend this excellent mix further? Can you not see the truth? Will you not admit, Pop Kulcher, that this is where your musical soul really resides. Be not ashamed. Rejoice. Let the masses rail against you. Spurn them, burn them. Rise above it all. Stand proud and tall - nothing's gonna stop us now...

Dead-on accurate and appropriate! Thanks for emoting for so many of us!

Oops, I meant to say "Feeback" Section...not Comments Section.

Other non favorite: my inability to make sense or type or spel good.

Amen, brother!

& you did hit on one of my own pet peeves - posting a list without making the mix is like playing tennis without a net -

oh, & didn't you forget to include some excessive & gratuitous HTML display??

Excellent parody!

...an' I HEAR ya'Joey



I hate those damn
SHOWO &nbsp; OFFS
!

the Osmonds, Steve Perry, and the Disney Princesses rule! and speaking of damn show-offs, those ELP packages are rather staggering.
advice: no more making fun of mixes by 14-yr-old girls. you've seen "Carrie?"

Hey Pop, I just stopped by for another peek. This is masterfully done, and what a scream. To Nomates's question, I don't know if there is a way to determine if it is a record turnout of comments, but I sure don't recall any mix getting this much reaction before.

I just discovered this, not sure where I was in February 2006, but obviously a long way from AOTM. And I had better come clean and say that I do kind of enjoy 14 and 16...