i struggle so hard for each breath that i take.

Artist Song
owen  note to self: 
maritime  pearl 
the new trust  chill the fuck out 
jets to brazil  the frequency 
radiohead  i want none of this 
get him eat him  diminutive 
metric  blindness 
okkervil river  no easy way down 
the good life  i am an island 
phantom planet  lonely day 
the weakerthans  fallow 
copeland  strange and unexpected 
the new pornographers  adventures in solitude 
the velvet teen  penning the penultimate 


60 minutes. in a nutshell: i'm jaded, displaced, confused, depressed, reclusive and alone. yet it's not a bad thing. each day i feel various feelings and i continue to savor them and keep on living. i don't know if things will ever "get better" or if i'll always feel this way in varying degrees, with elation continuing to be short and fleeting. but recently i've come to the terms with the fact that maybe this is me. maybe i'm too insightful, too mistrusting, too broken to ever be perfectly "fixed". and if that's the case, if the slightly-negative emotive self is the deepest expression of myself i'll ever reach, i can accept it and i can embrace it and i can realize that "happy" doesn't have to have an absolute definition, because happy means something different to everyone.


Date: 8/17/2009
Well said.^_^ And I favorited this mix!*****