can you explain your weird crush on patty hearst?

well, i said don't ask, but since you did i might as well tell you. she was on the larry king show awhile back promoting a show she made for the travel channel, and i decided if i ever chose to have an affair with an older woman it'd definitely be her. plus i'm sort of attracted to footage of women wielding guns in bank security camera footage. there, that's all.

by the way, it was late at night when i posted this, which is my lame excuse for writing fun instead of one in the bikini kill song.