Artist	Song
Jermaine Dupri feat. Ludacris	Welcome to Atlanta (2001) [from Instructions]
Twista feat. Kanye West	Overnight Celebrity (2004)
Jay-Z	Hard Knock Life (Ghetto Anthem) (1998) [samples "Hard Knock Life" from Annie]
Outkast	Hey Ya! (2003)
Dr. Dre feat. Eminem	Forgot About Dre (1999)
Ghostface Killah	Teddy Skit (2001)
The Notorious B.I.G. feat. Lil' Kim & P. Diddy	Notorious B.I.G (P. Diddy remix) (2002) [from We Invented The Remix]
Gwen Stefani	Hollaback Girl (2004)
Cam'ron feat. Mona Lisa	Girls (2004) [samples Cyndi Lauper, "Girls Just Want to Have Fun"]
Teairra Mari	No Daddy (2005)
Jin feat. Wyclef Jean	Learn Chinese (2003)
50 Cent	Piggy Bank (2005) [Diss of Fat Joe]
Fat Joe	My Fofo (2005) [Diss of 50 Cent]
N.W.A.	Fuck Tha Police (1996)
Eazy-E	Sippin On A 40 (1996)
Ying Yang Twins feat. Trick Daddy	Whats Happnin! (2003)
Redman feat. Erick Sermon & Keith Murray	Def Squad Delite (1998) [adaptation of Sugarhill Gang, "Rapper's Delight"]
Snoop Dogg feat. The Doors	Riders on the Storm (Fredwreck Remix) (2004)
Nina Gordon	Straight Outta Compton (2004) [cover of N.W.A.]

Comment:

You cannot annoy your teenage kids by complaining about their hip-hop music.
That only gives them satisfaction, reinforcement, and encouragement.

If you seriously want to annoy your teenagers, here's the way:
take an interest in hip-hop music.


Refer to the family minivan as "The Bent."
"We rollin' on Dubs and we goin' to clubs. We can't lose with twenty-twos."

Choose one hip-hop feud, and take sides.
"Obese Joseph may talk about it, but 50 lives it!
50 runs New York!
50 has the phattest beats
and the dopest rhymes.
Did you hear about the time 50 took a bullet in the jaw and he kep' on rappin'?"

Talk like a big-time drug dealer. "When my coke come in, they got to
use the scales that they weigh the whales with.
I got so much coke that you could do
the slalom.
I'm movin' a brick a week."
This one would fit while you measure out Bisquick for a recipe.

Be prepared to deal with all manner of thugs, G's, and haters.
Like Wisnewski next door, who let his poodle go poo
in your pachysandra.
"I always keep chrome next to my bones. I've got a Beretta and I'm down
for whateva.
I ain't playin', there's gonna be Uzis sprayin'"

Speak in reverential tones of dead rappers.
"Everything we got, we owe it to three MCs: 2Pac, Biggie, and
Eazy-Muthaf**kin-E. Y'all dogs left us too soon.
And if Suge come my way, there's gonna be gunplay."

Play hip-hop. Loud.
Sing along. Sub in the name of your own locality.
"Welcome to Iqaluit, Nunavut, where the playaz play."
"When Scarsdale, New York blows up, I"m gonna be in the aftermath."

"You think this is a muthaf**kin game?
Biyotch!
Yo momma and me, we still poppin' Cristal at the club!
We still rockin' the mic!
And we don't give a f**k!"


For maximum results, try out these Instructions when your kids have their
friends present.

F'sheezy.

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